trying

Posted on July 29, 2011 by emacaulay

I am trying not to sink into either anger or despair.

At the state and national level, politicians are taking aim at the misguided and seemingly flat-out evil they can readily find in those they have identified as enemies: elected leaders of the opposing party.

This impasse in sensibilities has huge implications. We have borrowed from our children’s future in order to buy a short-term fix at the state level. At the national level, the jousting for ideological bragging rights may result in untold catastrophe.

All this while the chasm between the rich and the poor grows ever more immense.

We are not a “Christian” nation. Clearly we are not. Scriptures are a recurring drum- beat calling us to awareness of the plight of our brothers and sisters. That plight is our business, it is our concern, it is our call to heart action.

What is the best instrument of redistribution? Many, and rightfully so, insist that government is an inefficient manager of playing-field leveling. So, consequently, government ought not be trusted with such.

But if not the government, then who and what and how? Those who insist on downsizing (and the downsized are seniors on fixed incomes, children who didn’t choose to be born into poverty, and people shaken by health crises) have much to say about what isn’t working: government.

The same voices seem to believe that government does work to mandate decisions about intimate life decisions.

Evidently in such thinking, government cannot be trusted with ensuring that each child born in this country has access to fullness of life, but it can be trusted to enter bedrooms and bodies.

I am afeared. The rhetoric saturating our nation is all about finger pointing. It’s a great diversionary tactic; it feels good to take aim and fire at another while the tender dream of “justice for all” burns itself into extinction.

There is enough for all. Economists have named it, and in the unsoundbited portion of our tender souls, we know this to be true. God has promised ongoing care and nourishment for creation.

So while children are starving in Somalia, elders are wrangling vulnerability in Minnesota, and assets are stockpiled by the increasing few in our nation, we could choose to stop the slashing of he-said-she-said and work with what we have.

We have enough. How will we see it shared? We move toward becoming a nation grounded on Christian values when we ask that question and work with what we have – our government, our churches, our hearts – to live into the power of communal care.

elemental wonder

Posted on July 23, 2011 by emacaulay

“The hearing ear and the seeing eye, The Lord has made both of them” (Proverbs 20:12).

Sometimes it feels like the advertising industry and our culture conspire to keep us distanced from our bodies: we perfume them and pill them and manipulate them (and why the use of the word “them” when our bodies are our very selves?) to remain compliant and (yeah, right) controlled.

And then we step away from all that and become students of our flesh. For me, becoming reacquainted with wonder is one of the huge gifts of embarking on a Boundary Waters trip.

Suddenly, with the first water-dipped paddle, awareness grows that this “thing” we walk our brains around in is an essential and elemental miracle. And, it is fragile and capable of amazing feats and aches, both.

I have just returned from a trip to the Boundary Waters Canoe Area in Northern Minnesota. I went with eleven other women from our church (two groups) for four nights.

Looking at maps and planning routes is part of the fun – sort of like looking at travel brochures, only better, because imagination is the only visual available. Tales shared by others about great routes or lakes are guidance.

And then, after months of imaginings, the route unfolds before you. The remembered weight of a canoe balanced on your shoulders is reality, and the real work of carrying your house and provisions in a pack is commenced.

This trip featured some awful portages (a portage, for the uninitiated, is a trail connecting one lake with another). They were rocky, steep, muddy and many, and we did them with a goodly chorus of laughter and muttering.

Our destination was a lake six portages in. We set up camp in a gorgeous spot and savored our efforts through the torrential thunderstorms (five plus inches of water during one of them!) and hot days. Our return trip was full of white-capped winds. It was not pretty.

We worked. We lived. We laughed. We were so blessed to be creatures aware of the wonder of bodies able to lift and move and we were able to relish days during which we let go of agenda and life swirl.

Sitting around camp fires, sharing meals under a minuscule tarp with rain sheeting from the sky, enjoying conversation circles while bobbing in a crystal lake, waking through the night to the movement of the moon, and marking the wonder of ankles that support, knees that bend, arms that propel and bellies that laugh is elemental wonder.

Savoring the uniqueness of the Holy as it lives in each person in the group is reminder that we carry within us essential grace fired by the imagination of our Creator.

I return from BWCA trips so full of gratitude. Immersion in elemental wonder revives and reminds.

The swirl of life is real. So too is the amazing wisdom and strength of the flesh.

humanity vow

Posted on July 9, 2011 by emacaulay

Sometimes reading the morning paper is a remarkable dunk into the absurd.

Today was.

It was reported that presidential candidate and US House of Representatives member (from MN) Michelle Bachman has signed an Iowa Christian group’s “Marriage Vow”. Part of the rhetoric to which she joined her name includes a statement that has me head waggling yet. Offensive is an understatement:

“Slavery had a disastrous impact on African-American families, yet sadly a child born into slavery in 1860 was more likely to be raised by his mother and father in a two parent household than was an African-American baby born after the election of the USA’s first African-American president.”

The document also calls for banning same-sex marriage and pornography, as well as maintaining that women and children’s safety hinges on (and only on? my question) heterosexual marriage.

Hmmmm, where to begin?

We are to know, according to the document and according to the rhetoric washing over us relentlessly is that the answers to our considerable social problems are best handled sans government. Which is befuddling, given that considerable time and effort was taken by our government (with an impending and eventual shut-down of our state government hugely real) to maneuver an amendment calling for marriage as available to only a man and a woman.

What the document signed in Iowa seems to imply is the reason for the crumblings of the American dream is the erosion of a one man one woman family.

The quote above seems to imply that if only we were back in the days of slavery, well then children would have two parents (never mind that they were owned as property and could be sold at the whim of the “property” owner).

If only one man and one woman were married women and children would be safe! Never mind that women continue to make nearly 1/4 the salary of men. Never mind that the realities of physical violence against women are real both within and without the bonds of marriage. Never mind that nearly 1/5 of the children in our state live in poverty and that the guidelines for what makes for poverty is $22,000 for a family of four. 1/5!

I don’t know if the 1/5 have a man and a woman present in their home. What I know is that we are an increasingly broken people. What I know is that while our children go without food and early childhood education and live with the stress that is the daily reality of poverty, the issue, it seems to me, is not mandating what gender their care givers are.

The “Marriage Vow” is a dodge. My opinion.

The issue, it seems to me, is who are we as followers of the Way? Who are we?

I’m reading a great book: How the Irish Saved Civilization by Thomas Cahill. In it, he speaks of how it was St Patrick was able to share the good news of the gospel by way of how he lived, how he spoke to others, how he stressed the inclusive and expansive grandeur of God evidenced in the good of earth and humanity and when oh when have we heard that voicing of what it means to be a follower of Jesus from our political “Christians”?

We live in a time when a barrage of rhetoric is meant to shut down the asking of questions, the naming of pain, the noting of increasing disparity, the mining of the teachings of our faith that would have us to know that the kingdom of God is not created based upon the one sure foundation of one man and one woman joined in holy matrimony.

The kingdom of God is created when we each; each of us different, each of us passionate about the vision preached by Jesus, each of us willing to claim a common desire to cease this nutsy-making rhetorical mud fight (gee, am I mud fighting here???), each of us willing to look around us at the faces and lives of the neighbors who are children of God and see what is real and respond in the ways taught by Jesus. Those teachings are pretty clear.

Marriage is based upon living partnership in such a way that the fragile is tended.

Our “Marriage Vow” ought consider the fragile family of God’s beloveds.

What is needed, it seems, is a “Humanity Vow”. It is the vow we claim as our own when we claim kinship with the Christ.

God grant us the courage and the heart for the living of these days.

A day in the life

Posted on June 14, 2011 by emacaulay

What do pastors do? Well, on this Tuesday I:

Met with the Nominations Committee to staff all committees.

Wrote worship for two services.

Spoke with a parishioner about a pastoral care concern.

Interviewed an incoming intern and discerned with him how to match his gifts with the needs of the church.

Dropped in on a birthday party for one of our small group leaders.

Fine-tuned a job description for a full-time Spiritual Formation Director. Planned for how and where to post said position.

Answered tons of emails and questions.

Recruited some children’s sermon providers.

Ran a staff meeting; more birthday cake for a staff birthday (hard work, someone has to do it!).

Had a meeting with a parent about baptism.

Wrote articles for the newsletter.

Prepped for a Bible study class on Isaiah.

Made hospital calls.

I think that is it.

Part of what makes the vocation of ministry so fulfilling for me is the jumble of gifts that get tapped and adventures that get entered into.

A day in the life is never dull.

bittersweet gratitude

Posted on June 11, 2011 by emacaulay

Three years ago our church welcomed a new pastor. The new pastor was new to the church. He was not new to me.

Max and I became friends during seminary. We gravitated toward each other because of a shared love of good coffee, deep laughs and the zing that is life in community. Max visited my family in Duluth, and when I heard about my move to Richfield, it was Max who hosted me and my family as we looked for a new home.

So when it became real that he was going to be appointed here at Richfield, I was excited for the church to partake of his goodness and light.

It has been three years of enjoying his voice in song and leadership, his great ability to connect with people and the ring of his laugh.

And, he is moving to pastor a church excited to receive him.

Tomorrow, on Pentecost Sunday, we will bless him on his way. We will worship and hear him preach and share a meal together in fine UM pot-luck style (only one English-speaking service tomorrow at 9:00; the Vietnamese service will be at its usual 11:15 time in the sanctuary).

Poet Anne Sexton wrote that “The joy that isn’t shared dies young”. The joy we have shared whilst in the company of Max will bless this church into its future. It has a life that will sparkle the air for always.

So we pray traveling mercies and gratitude for joy shared; taken into heart and unloosed through our own willingness to live light and love and our intention to share the communion of joy so often as ever we can.

Blessings, Max.

overwhelmed

Posted on May 18, 2011 by emacaulay

There are thousands of preachers gathered in the metro area this week. The annual Festival of Homiletics is underway, and the great names in the world of preaching are gathered to feed those who feed flocks weekly.

I am finding myself overwhelmed in a way strange to me. I’m not overwhelmed by the shining stars whose work I admire greatly. I am taking in their words and notions and finding room for gratitude.

What I am overwhelmed by is the sometimes huge feeling thing that is serving as a mouthpiece of the gospel. I look around me and see people who have given their lives to bringing to voice teachings timeless in their power and transformative in their reach and what I see are tender and hopeful and vulnerable and a trifle beat-up folk.

I am one of that number.

We serve the movement of Jesus in a time complex and challenging. It has ever been thus. We read books a plenty about how to cook up church in a way that will be palatable and maybe even delicious to a starving-for-meaning world and we scurry and fret and what we (and that “we” would mean me here) so often experience is a sort of Holy amnesia. We are so busy trying to be God that we forget that God is in the midst of things and God has it. The church will be what the church will be. We just need to be open and set a nourishing table of grace. God will provide. So we say. So we sometimes believe.

Lives have been given over to the preaching of the Word. We want to do it well. We tremble at the task. We enter pulpits and pray to make room for the amazement that is grace and we are human and so much tender courage in one place is overwhelming.

Pray for preachers. We want so much.

soul weave

Posted on April 1, 2011 by emacaulay

I am preparing for a women’s retreat.

Thirty-one of us from church are spending a weekend apart from the things that claim and name us.

This year, we are learning from a yoga teacher the ways we might imagine and live integration of our beings. This is no ordinary teacher. Deborah is a friend of many years, and watching her unfold into the teacher she is has been constant reminder to me that we each are called and we get to choose to answer. Deborah did. She is now running a thriving studio, writing books, and crafting life in such a way that others come to soak in her presence.

We get to soak in presence. The presence of each woman on the retreat is unique and remarkable. It is no small gifting, this time apart. We are presented with the chance to claim and name our own beings.

As I am readying myself for this year and the thirty-one who will make community for a weekend, I am reminded of the yearly groups who have gone before. I have led retreats some twelve times or so. Each time I am wondered; how is it God creates such complex and stunning beauty? How is it we are allowed the chance to grow and learn and laugh together?

I’m aware that each woman who has gone on retreat through the years is with me yet. I think of them as I pack and ready. I remember and give thanks and pray that this weekend will bring rest and stretch for this year’s batch of beauty.

We walk in community always. The chance to be apart to remember strengthens our being. Each woman, unique and beautiful and seeking and open is woven forever into the story that is life.

Amazing grace, that.

If

Posted on March 31, 2011 by emacaulay

If you hate injustice, tyranny, lust and greed, hate these things in yourself. Gandhi

It feels sometimes as though we are consuming ourselves.

I read last week that the state of Minnesota is considering harvesting trees from state park lands to sell at the market to bail us out of financial woe.

I read this morning that cuts are being made to health care for the poor in our state. They will be shifted to private health care in order for the state to cut its costs and while surely cuts must be made we know beyond a doubt that many will fall through the health care cracks.

Schools are fighting for survival, infrastructure is unraveling and the words being traded across public airwaves are hate and fear speak.

And most troubling to this mother’s heart is this report from my daughter. In checking her voice mail upon entering her work day, she heard on the recording the sound of automatic gun fire. Just that. Just that.

She works for NARAL. She works with an organization that works to insure that all women retain the decision-making power over their own bodies.

Evidentally the work of her organization inspired someone to spew the deadly sounds of hate and fear into her office and most fearsomely, into her heart.

How do we, as a people grounded in a movement insistent upon care for creation, get honest about the health and honesty of our own hearts? How do we root around and name the resentments, fear, injustices and tyrannies that lurk in our own hearts? Once found, how do we exorcize them, making room for the cultivation of belief in a peace that generates life?

Rather than grinding the seed corn of our future, we are called to mulch the soil of that which we tend first and foremost: our own hearts. From such tending, the future of creation is made verdant.

Rather than consuming ourselves, we choose to grow grace and peace and hope, assured that there is enough for all: enough compassion, enough food, enough care, enough.

We choose.

big boom

Posted on March 17, 2011 by emacaulay

I was driving my guy to the emergency room this morning (he is fine) when I got a call from a church member. Since I was intent upon my wifely task, it took me awhile to figure out who was calling and what it was that was going on. I could tell there was anxiety in her voice and I worried that she had health emergencies in her family.

No, that wasn’t it. What it she was worried about was that five blocks from our church, a major gas leak sparked a major explosion. She was concerned about the safety of folk at her church. She wanted to make sure that we were alright.

I called the church right away and they had heard nothing about it. Thankfully, the explosion was contained to the one site. Thankfully, in a very busy commercial area, no one was hurt. The odds of an explosion and geyser of flame leaving no victims is wonderment.

We live in a time of enhanced awareness of mortality. Radioactive waftings from Japan, tsunamis gulping lives and infrastructure crumbling are realities. We are no longer able to blithely go about our daily lives sure that the catastrophic won’t touch our lives; it does.

So what are we to make of all of this? Well, for this woman given assurance that her husband is safe from harm on this day, the need to hold and savor beloveds is great.

What we are given in life is the relationships into which we pour our love. Being able to enter church and poke my head into a St Patrick’s Day party (complete with cloggers!) hosted by our elders and attended by our day care was almost sacramental. Watching our choir director at the organ console while the new pipes are being tuned was assurance that while explosions are real, so too is the voicing of praise and belief in the power beyond chaos.

We build in the midst of crumble. It has always been so. During these days when so much around us feels tentative, we get to tend the foundations of our world by loving fiercely and crafting with heart.

The church got many calls throughout the day. People reach out. They care. It matters.

Living Waters

Celebrating the Sacred

Category Archives: witness