trying

Posted on July 29, 2011 by emacaulay

I am trying not to sink into either anger or despair.

At the state and national level, politicians are taking aim at the misguided and seemingly flat-out evil they can readily find in those they have identified as enemies: elected leaders of the opposing party.

This impasse in sensibilities has huge implications. We have borrowed from our children’s future in order to buy a short-term fix at the state level. At the national level, the jousting for ideological bragging rights may result in untold catastrophe.

All this while the chasm between the rich and the poor grows ever more immense.

We are not a “Christian” nation. Clearly we are not. Scriptures are a recurring drum- beat calling us to awareness of the plight of our brothers and sisters. That plight is our business, it is our concern, it is our call to heart action.

What is the best instrument of redistribution? Many, and rightfully so, insist that government is an inefficient manager of playing-field leveling. So, consequently, government ought not be trusted with such.

But if not the government, then who and what and how? Those who insist on downsizing (and the downsized are seniors on fixed incomes, children who didn’t choose to be born into poverty, and people shaken by health crises) have much to say about what isn’t working: government.

The same voices seem to believe that government does work to mandate decisions about intimate life decisions.

Evidently in such thinking, government cannot be trusted with ensuring that each child born in this country has access to fullness of life, but it can be trusted to enter bedrooms and bodies.

I am afeared. The rhetoric saturating our nation is all about finger pointing. It’s a great diversionary tactic; it feels good to take aim and fire at another while the tender dream of “justice for all” burns itself into extinction.

There is enough for all. Economists have named it, and in the unsoundbited portion of our tender souls, we know this to be true. God has promised ongoing care and nourishment for creation.

So while children are starving in Somalia, elders are wrangling vulnerability in Minnesota, and assets are stockpiled by the increasing few in our nation, we could choose to stop the slashing of he-said-she-said and work with what we have.

We have enough. How will we see it shared? We move toward becoming a nation grounded on Christian values when we ask that question and work with what we have – our government, our churches, our hearts – to live into the power of communal care.

elemental wonder

Posted on July 23, 2011 by emacaulay

“The hearing ear and the seeing eye, The Lord has made both of them” (Proverbs 20:12).

Sometimes it feels like the advertising industry and our culture conspire to keep us distanced from our bodies: we perfume them and pill them and manipulate them (and why the use of the word “them” when our bodies are our very selves?) to remain compliant and (yeah, right) controlled.

And then we step away from all that and become students of our flesh. For me, becoming reacquainted with wonder is one of the huge gifts of embarking on a Boundary Waters trip.

Suddenly, with the first water-dipped paddle, awareness grows that this “thing” we walk our brains around in is an essential and elemental miracle. And, it is fragile and capable of amazing feats and aches, both.

I have just returned from a trip to the Boundary Waters Canoe Area in Northern Minnesota. I went with eleven other women from our church (two groups) for four nights.

Looking at maps and planning routes is part of the fun – sort of like looking at travel brochures, only better, because imagination is the only visual available. Tales shared by others about great routes or lakes are guidance.

And then, after months of imaginings, the route unfolds before you. The remembered weight of a canoe balanced on your shoulders is reality, and the real work of carrying your house and provisions in a pack is commenced.

This trip featured some awful portages (a portage, for the uninitiated, is a trail connecting one lake with another). They were rocky, steep, muddy and many, and we did them with a goodly chorus of laughter and muttering.

Our destination was a lake six portages in. We set up camp in a gorgeous spot and savored our efforts through the torrential thunderstorms (five plus inches of water during one of them!) and hot days. Our return trip was full of white-capped winds. It was not pretty.

We worked. We lived. We laughed. We were so blessed to be creatures aware of the wonder of bodies able to lift and move and we were able to relish days during which we let go of agenda and life swirl.

Sitting around camp fires, sharing meals under a minuscule tarp with rain sheeting from the sky, enjoying conversation circles while bobbing in a crystal lake, waking through the night to the movement of the moon, and marking the wonder of ankles that support, knees that bend, arms that propel and bellies that laugh is elemental wonder.

Savoring the uniqueness of the Holy as it lives in each person in the group is reminder that we carry within us essential grace fired by the imagination of our Creator.

I return from BWCA trips so full of gratitude. Immersion in elemental wonder revives and reminds.

The swirl of life is real. So too is the amazing wisdom and strength of the flesh.

humanity vow

Posted on July 9, 2011 by emacaulay

Sometimes reading the morning paper is a remarkable dunk into the absurd.

Today was.

It was reported that presidential candidate and US House of Representatives member (from MN) Michelle Bachman has signed an Iowa Christian group’s “Marriage Vow”. Part of the rhetoric to which she joined her name includes a statement that has me head waggling yet. Offensive is an understatement:

“Slavery had a disastrous impact on African-American families, yet sadly a child born into slavery in 1860 was more likely to be raised by his mother and father in a two parent household than was an African-American baby born after the election of the USA’s first African-American president.”

The document also calls for banning same-sex marriage and pornography, as well as maintaining that women and children’s safety hinges on (and only on? my question) heterosexual marriage.

Hmmmm, where to begin?

We are to know, according to the document and according to the rhetoric washing over us relentlessly is that the answers to our considerable social problems are best handled sans government. Which is befuddling, given that considerable time and effort was taken by our government (with an impending and eventual shut-down of our state government hugely real) to maneuver an amendment calling for marriage as available to only a man and a woman.

What the document signed in Iowa seems to imply is the reason for the crumblings of the American dream is the erosion of a one man one woman family.

The quote above seems to imply that if only we were back in the days of slavery, well then children would have two parents (never mind that they were owned as property and could be sold at the whim of the “property” owner).

If only one man and one woman were married women and children would be safe! Never mind that women continue to make nearly 1/4 the salary of men. Never mind that the realities of physical violence against women are real both within and without the bonds of marriage. Never mind that nearly 1/5 of the children in our state live in poverty and that the guidelines for what makes for poverty is $22,000 for a family of four. 1/5!

I don’t know if the 1/5 have a man and a woman present in their home. What I know is that we are an increasingly broken people. What I know is that while our children go without food and early childhood education and live with the stress that is the daily reality of poverty, the issue, it seems to me, is not mandating what gender their care givers are.

The “Marriage Vow” is a dodge. My opinion.

The issue, it seems to me, is who are we as followers of the Way? Who are we?

I’m reading a great book: How the Irish Saved Civilization by Thomas Cahill. In it, he speaks of how it was St Patrick was able to share the good news of the gospel by way of how he lived, how he spoke to others, how he stressed the inclusive and expansive grandeur of God evidenced in the good of earth and humanity and when oh when have we heard that voicing of what it means to be a follower of Jesus from our political “Christians”?

We live in a time when a barrage of rhetoric is meant to shut down the asking of questions, the naming of pain, the noting of increasing disparity, the mining of the teachings of our faith that would have us to know that the kingdom of God is not created based upon the one sure foundation of one man and one woman joined in holy matrimony.

The kingdom of God is created when we each; each of us different, each of us passionate about the vision preached by Jesus, each of us willing to claim a common desire to cease this nutsy-making rhetorical mud fight (gee, am I mud fighting here???), each of us willing to look around us at the faces and lives of the neighbors who are children of God and see what is real and respond in the ways taught by Jesus. Those teachings are pretty clear.

Marriage is based upon living partnership in such a way that the fragile is tended.

Our “Marriage Vow” ought consider the fragile family of God’s beloveds.

What is needed, it seems, is a “Humanity Vow”. It is the vow we claim as our own when we claim kinship with the Christ.

God grant us the courage and the heart for the living of these days.

impasse

Posted on June 17, 2011 by emacaulay

It’s getting tense here in Minnesota. We aren’t alone.

The ideology war with its thuds of rhetorical chest thumping is starting to scare us but good. Democrats and their seeming love of throwing money out the window and Republicans with their seeming love of order sans compassion are in a stare-down that could mean chaos here in weeks. The state government threatens to grind to a halt if compromise cannot be reached.

We have no idea what ripples will turn into tsunami pain for many if this shut down occurs.

Both “sides” cheer their standard bearers on but oh, there are lives in the mix held together by the strands of services offered by programs in danger of being slashed. So too are lives held together by a functioning state government.

I have no answers. What I know is that in this, as in so many things, the answers are found not through lobbing imprecations across tables and airwaves, but through sustained and respectful honoring of the boundless truth that is breathed through creation by the heart of the Holy.

What we are taught by Jesus is that we are to love our God with all we have and we are to love our neighbor as ourselves. That means my neighbor’s children who need food, care, and excellent schools. That means my neighbors who are elderly and my neighbors who are Republican and my neighbors who are Democrats and my neighbors who reflect the shine of the Holy. Their well-being is mine to claim as my own. That’s God’s truth.

I seek to believe that people of both parties run for office because they care about liberty and justice for all. They are asked to do painfully hard work. So I’m praying. I’m praying for them and for us all that we might become a people with un-stuck hearts, open ears, willing spirits, and humble wonder.

We have been given so much. How will we live?

bittersweet gratitude

Posted on June 11, 2011 by emacaulay

Three years ago our church welcomed a new pastor. The new pastor was new to the church. He was not new to me.

Max and I became friends during seminary. We gravitated toward each other because of a shared love of good coffee, deep laughs and the zing that is life in community. Max visited my family in Duluth, and when I heard about my move to Richfield, it was Max who hosted me and my family as we looked for a new home.

So when it became real that he was going to be appointed here at Richfield, I was excited for the church to partake of his goodness and light.

It has been three years of enjoying his voice in song and leadership, his great ability to connect with people and the ring of his laugh.

And, he is moving to pastor a church excited to receive him.

Tomorrow, on Pentecost Sunday, we will bless him on his way. We will worship and hear him preach and share a meal together in fine UM pot-luck style (only one English-speaking service tomorrow at 9:00; the Vietnamese service will be at its usual 11:15 time in the sanctuary).

Poet Anne Sexton wrote that “The joy that isn’t shared dies young”. The joy we have shared whilst in the company of Max will bless this church into its future. It has a life that will sparkle the air for always.

So we pray traveling mercies and gratitude for joy shared; taken into heart and unloosed through our own willingness to live light and love and our intention to share the communion of joy so often as ever we can.

Blessings, Max.

play

Posted on June 5, 2011 by emacaulay

This weekend we celebrated evangelism through bounce house and band.

On Saturday our church parking lot was swarming with a rainbow of neighbors who came to pet animals, eat popcorn and soak in funky music. We hosted a community carnival as a way to welcome folks into the flat-out fun that is community in Christ. There were local celebrities in the dunk tank, church-made egg rolls and grins all around. Four hours and a sunburn later, I went home via the air. My heart was lofted.

This morning we led worship at the Lake Harriet band shell. On the stage were an amazing assortment of musicians and two oh-so-giddy Pastors. In the benches were church folk and neighbors who were there to take in the opportunity to praise God with a sailboat regatta backdrop. The swallows in the rafters of the band shell joined in the song of thanks and together we celebrated life in the wonder of creation and community. The potluck that followed was shared with all who had hunger. We met new people. We broke bread in an elemental meal of abundant thanksgiving.

Again, the road back to home was flown.

It is so good to peel back the walls of the church and share the heart that beats through our ministry. It is so good to share who we are and what it is that grounds us.

We reached out not through some grim sense of ought but because we are so blessed we can’t sing or taste it enough.

Holy play makes for good. It was a romping weekend.

It was church.

prayerful dissent

Posted on June 4, 2011 by emacaulay

I am an ordained Elder in the United Methodist Church; somewhat miracle, that.

My heart got swept into the movement of people who are moved by relationship with the Christ to engage in the world in such a way that healing happens. We touch with justice and compassion out of gratitude for our daily wash in grace; we can’t help it.

We are an international church. We make decisions that affect the life of our movement every four years. At this gathering, persons come from across the world. The numbers of delegates sent to vote on policy matters are determined by the numbers of people who know themselves as United Methodists in that area. United Methodism is strong in numbers in Africa and in the Southern United States. It is not as strong in numbers in areas traditionally less conservative. In the case of Minnesota for the upcoming General Conference, we are able to send only 3 clergy and 3 lay delegates to represent our entire state.

So trying to impact church-wide policy in ways held to be crucial by many is a sometimes long and painful process.

And so it is that while the ELCA, Presbyterian Church USA, Episcopal Church, the United Church of Christ and the Disciples of Christ movements of Jesus have all voted to enflesh the meaning of baptism by ordaining persons who are heterosexual as well as homosexual and offer services of blessing to couples of the same-sex who desire the elemental good of the celebration of relationship within the bounds of community, the United Methodist Church has not been able to free itself from the bonds of a long-lived denial of baptismal and inclusive grace.

When we are ordained as UM clergy, we agree to uphold the Discipline of the United Methodist Church. Many of us, as we made this vow, knew that the challenge of upholding that discipline would be great, given the jangle of unjust embedded within it.

I certainly knew the challenge of it, even as I took my ordination vow. But I figured I would work with all that I had to pray and listen and lead the church into a more grace- based embrace of all of God’s children. I have organized regional conferences, spoken at the state capitol numerous times, been a contributor to a published teaching piece put out by the Human Rights Campaign, led two congregations through a Reconciling process, and spoken from the pulpit about this issue (some would say incessantly!).

As the years have unfolded, the pain for me has become magnified. Beloveds of their creator have found community in churches I have pastored and while the joining of hearts within longed-for community in Christ has been stunning in its beauty and power, the reality has persisted: we welcome, we delight in the being of all of God’s createds, we proclaim the abundant, amazing and endless grace of God but when it comes to blessing the love work of same gendered couples and the pastoral work of same gender loving clergy, the policy of the UM church maintains that there are limits to grace and clergy are ordained to Word, Sacrament, Order and Policing.

I have had couples come to me. Couples who are in love and in the throes and celebration of mutual unfolding and they are desirous of blessing. For whatever reasons, including taxes and inheritances and other such state-driven impediments, they do not desire legal marriage. But they wonder: might they call together their beloveds and hear spoken over their love a blessing by their pastor?

Desirous as we are for integration of our loves into our spiritual and social lives, of course such blessing is a natural outgrowth of a fulsome life.

And yet, we deny such to persons who live and love and raise children and bless their churches and the world with the living of their discipleship. We deny blessing.

This year at Annual Conference a petition was circulated. The text is below.

We joyfully affirm that we will offer the grace of the Church’s blessing to any prepared couple desiring Christian marriage. We are convinced by the witness of others and are compelled by Spirit and conscience to act. We thank the many United Methodists who have already called for full equality and inclusion of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people in the life of the Church.

We repent that it has taken us so long to act. We realize that our church’s discriminatory policies tarnish the witness of the Church to the world, and we are complicit. We value our covenant relationships and ask everyone to hold the divided community of the United Methodist Church in prayer.

I signed. I signed because in the teachings of Jesus I see the outreaching of grace and life lived in the seeking of justice enfleshed in community. I signed because my words about the expansive grace and welcome of God are clanging gongs if I am not willing to participate in the healing good that is blessing and naming relationships that make for life. I signed because my pastor’s heart can bear no more the double-speak of grace abundant and barricades maintained.

I do not know what this means in the living of my call. It can mean being brought up on charges. It can mean losing my credentials in a movement I have given my spirit to. It can mean being booted out of the open door church.

Prior to putting my name and heart to the petition, I talked with our Staff Parish Relations Committee about my inclination to sign. I didn’t want to sign without the blessing of the church body I am amazed to know myself a part of.

They gave their blessing.

And so, God as my partner, witness and guide; so will I. I’m a minister of the gospel of Jesus the Christ. God has graced me with a hunger for lived wholeness and hope in community sprung from the heart of Jesus.

The time for heart healing, the time for blessing, the time for prayerful dissent is now.

memories

Posted on June 1, 2011 by emacaulay

Memorial Day has always been a weekend of cabin and family. After retirement my father was a purveyor of popcorn, ice cream, pop and curiosity from his club car bus at the park in Moose Lake. The Macaulay and Moose Lake Holyoke Railroad Popcorn Bus was a park fixture. Dad loved the chance to interact with people, and proudly proclaimed his popcorn the best there ever could be. He was right about that.

On Memorial Day he would drive the bus to our cabin, park it, and let the grandkids gorge themselves on all the treats they wanted.

It was disgusting and wonderful, both. Our children would be covered in various forms of sticky and their sense of amazement at this free access to the forbidden was wonderful to behold.

Fifteen years ago, the day after Memorial Day, my father died of a massive heart attack. I had called him in the morning to thank him and check in, and by the afternoon he was gone.

So Memorial Day, as leaves were raked, flowers planted, and time shared with my family at the cabin sans treat bus, I thought much about the unfolding of family and the changing meanings of same and the thread of grace and faith that stitches life together.

Fifteen years ago, as we hugged goodbye, never did I imagine that I would no more be able to hug that skinny and rumbly body again. There are so many never-could-have-imagineds that have commenced since that time.

And, the flowers got planted. The celebration that is life was shared. The belief in the power of what will be was lived into through conversations and loving and savoring what is.

It is the shining possibility of now that makes for later memories. It is taking in the crunch of dirt under nails, the heave of belly through laugh and the smelling of life in flower and neck.

And, there is gratitude. Gratitude for the quirky gift that is family in all its vexations. Gratitude for the souls of those who blessed and live yet through our hearts and passions. Gratitude that thirty-some years from now, my children will be planting flowers and thinking thoughts about how it is we encountered life together.

I will be there as my father is there and so too will their children hear the stories and plant newness of life in the sweet yearn of memory.

overwhelmed

Posted on May 18, 2011 by emacaulay

There are thousands of preachers gathered in the metro area this week. The annual Festival of Homiletics is underway, and the great names in the world of preaching are gathered to feed those who feed flocks weekly.

I am finding myself overwhelmed in a way strange to me. I’m not overwhelmed by the shining stars whose work I admire greatly. I am taking in their words and notions and finding room for gratitude.

What I am overwhelmed by is the sometimes huge feeling thing that is serving as a mouthpiece of the gospel. I look around me and see people who have given their lives to bringing to voice teachings timeless in their power and transformative in their reach and what I see are tender and hopeful and vulnerable and a trifle beat-up folk.

I am one of that number.

We serve the movement of Jesus in a time complex and challenging. It has ever been thus. We read books a plenty about how to cook up church in a way that will be palatable and maybe even delicious to a starving-for-meaning world and we scurry and fret and what we (and that “we” would mean me here) so often experience is a sort of Holy amnesia. We are so busy trying to be God that we forget that God is in the midst of things and God has it. The church will be what the church will be. We just need to be open and set a nourishing table of grace. God will provide. So we say. So we sometimes believe.

Lives have been given over to the preaching of the Word. We want to do it well. We tremble at the task. We enter pulpits and pray to make room for the amazement that is grace and we are human and so much tender courage in one place is overwhelming.

Pray for preachers. We want so much.

Living Waters

Celebrating the Sacred

Category Archives: progressive Christianity