Pandemic Scramble

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I am trying to live in the present.

I am trying to live in the present while living social distancing and pandemic caution.

I am trying to live in the present while taping worship services days ahead of when they will be shared.

Maundy Thursday was taped on Tuesday and Good Friday was taped two days before Good Friday.

The joy of Easter was taped on Good Friday.

I am trying to live in the present and my soul is so confused because the rhythm of Holy Week has become scrambled and I am feeling it all at once.  There is no time for my soul to pause and digest.

As I have gone about this whirled week, I am feeling the grief of the so-much of this.

I ache for the community that stories my life.

I ache for my children and grandchildren and friends and I ache for the people whose lives are twined into my heart.  I miss my church.  I miss the varieties of ways people show up and I miss the connection that happens through and among us and I miss laughter and tears and I was distracting myself through these first furiously busy weeks of setting up this pandemic life and the grief was kept at bay.

Until this Holy Week.

This week, we who follow Jesus long to kneel at the feet of our friends.

This week, despair and betrayal are named and the visceral need to share the  communion of grief finds no catharsis in community.

This week, the Holy Saturday grief and stagger of those long ago disciples lives so fully in our souls.

This Holy Week I am trying to live in the present.

Whatever – and all – that it is.

 

8 thoughts on “Pandemic Scramble

  1. Elizabeth, I hear you and I too am missing the flow of Holy Week. I did not realize how much I would miss the pattern … the flow…the worship. I always said I need Good Friday in order to move joyously to Easter. Blessings to you and Cooper and your families.

  2. Thank you, Elizabeth, for your willingness to be in the midst–it is the leadership of you and others providing worship opportunities online all this week that many of us are finding a depth of Holy Week meaning to be supporting us each of these days. May much joy and space to pause and breathe deeply find you tomorrow! Grace and Peace, Vonda

  3. Thank you for the grounding you have provided through this Holy Week and our time of sequestering. How wonderful it has been to be reconnected with you in spirit of loving community.
    Fern Albertson

  4. Peace. May the love of God surround you and give you hope, comfort and peace. Happy Easter. Thank you for sharing your heart and soul with us.

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